Saturday, September 15, 2007

Pussy Power


I’ve been thinking a lot about sluts lately. It all started when, out of my love for creative procrastination I decided to click on one of those distracting popup dating ads.
As I searched around the personal page, mocking the hilarity of people’s profiles, I noticed that the site had a link to personality tests. Since they’re the best way to waste your time and learn a lot of false stuff about yourself, of course I checked it out. There were quite a lot of self-enhancing identity tests, such as the Tits, Ass and Cuteness Test, the Would You Like My Boobs Test, the Legit Can You Give Good Head Test…and such titles that were so repulsively pathetic that even the motivation to procrastinate wasn’t enough to get me to fill out their questionnaire. As I was about to return to the glories of my textbooks and unromantic readings, I noticed the How Much of a Slut Are You Test? Fine, I thought, I’ll do one stupid test. Let’s see if my promiscuous nature is enough to qualify me a “slut.”
According to the “test,” I’m a 76% slut. My results read: “you are normalized against the average, so don’t even TRY to disagree with us. Science is certain, you are absolutely 76% Slutty.” Even though I know how brainless and empty these personality tests are, I couldn’t help feeling a little annoyed with being called an over-the-average slut. What did 76% slut mean? What are they saying, that my hypersexuality and sexually adventurous nature makes me a whore?
So that’s how it all started, how my mind has been preoccupied with slut-mania – the slut, sluts, slutting. I couldn’t stop wondering, why did I feel so offended for ‘scoring’ so high as a “slut”? If a slut means someone who is promiscuous, then why does that have to be a negative thing? And is there a difference between a slut and a sexually adventurous promiscuous woman?
The answer is yes, there is a difference, and it’s all about what I like to call a woman’s inner “Pussy Power.” A girl with pussy power, embodies the identity of modern sexuality. She is the “New Age” sex symbol. She embarks on promiscuous adventures to bolster her sexual empowerment and for the mere sensation, passion and enjoyment of the act of sex. She does not turn to sex for self-definition. Rather, she turns to the wonders of carnal bliss as a way to explore herself. Her pussy power is part of her self-confidence and thus she simply wants sex, loves it and embraces it. Her pussy power drives her desire for sheer lust.
A slut does not have pussy power – her acts of sex are not to empower herself, but rather to fulfill an empty ego void. She spreads her legs in a selfless attempt to boost her esteem. Her sexual acts are rather destructive on a personal and social level, and undermine the enjoyable intentions of sex.
However, maybe being a slut is just a stage in our natural lives of defining our identities. We all have a little slut in our history. It’s those that never move beyond that stage whom we should empathize with rather than insult. I’ll admit to being a slut before, engaging in sex for revenge, using my libido not to fulfill lust, but rather an inner loss. What I felt was not pleasure, but rather personal pain.
It takes time to find your pussy power, and I believe I’ve embraced mine. So maybe my test results meant that I had 76% pussy power. That changes the picture. So how much do you have? Go on. Test yourself.

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